My Mumu Button Has An Expiry Date

Ah. There was fire on the mountain.

I cannot sit like this.

I had to do something.

I grabbed my car keys and drove a whole one-hour to Gwags to find my vanished ribs. To let him know that my love for him knew no bounds, kept no record of cash flow and I would make sure to spend the remaining years of my working life to keep us afloat. He wouldn’t have to worry about paying a single bill ever in his life again. All he needed to do was be mine.

As I got to his house gate, a convoy of six black cars began driving out of the compound. Confused, I parked by the roadside and rushed to the gate.

What was happening? Did someone die?

I gasped. Did something happen to my Adam?

“Where is Adam?” I frantically asked the gateman as he began closing the gate. “Where is your oga?!”

“Follow those cars, Madam.” he shut the gate in my face.

Hurriedly, I rushed to my car and sped behind the last car before it got to the end of the street.

The drive behind the convoy felt like 100 years. My blood pressure was rising with every second, palms sweaty, head banging, heart pounding, sanity slowly disappearing.

I thought of all the worst possible scenarios that could have happened to Adam. Did the scratch from my ring give him an incurable infection and cause him to die? Did my slap give him a migraine that he could not wake up the next morning? Was his heart so broken that it stopped beating?

If anything happened to him, it was all my fault!

When we got to Garki, the convoy drove into a familiar compound that I had been with Adam.

Rainbow?

The same marquee hall Adam and I booked for our wedding?

Fleets of cars filled the compound, and a crowd of people dressed in green lace attire walked into the big marquee building in the middle of the compound.

Unlike the fancy dressed guests, I came out of my car in my two weeks old all-back braids, a Manchester United jersey (Adam’s fav club), black shorts and bathroom slippers. I lost a hold of the convoy that left Adam’s house, as the compound was crowded. I walked towards the entrance of the hall, all eyes looking at my outfit weirdly. Once I got to the door, the bodyguards stopped me.

“Show invite.” One demanded, staring at me strangely and completely undressed for the event.

“What invite? I came to see my fiancé. They told me he would be here.”

“Madam, move back!” One of the guests shouted at me from the front of the crowded entrance. “This is not your entrance. Can’t you see the waiters’ entrance is on the other side?”

Eh me? Waite—

I looked down at the invitation card in the guest’s hand, and my eyes almost burst out of my skull. I grabbed the card and on it was boldly written:

The Wedding Ceremony of Adam Obaseki and Oyinkansola S. Aderibigbe.

The world around me froze, like a bright light flashing before my eyes and taking away the senses out of my body.

The invitation card fell out of my hand. This must be a dream. This must be nothing but a mad joke. That was not my Adam. It cannot be.

I found myself walking away, trembling, to only God knows where, not caring about the insults that the same guest hurled at me for dropping their invitation card.

I could not think. I could not feel. I could barely breathe. If I was not careful, I might collapse and die on the floor right now.

Adam!!!

I found myself bumping into everyone and everything that came across my way. I searched for his face but could not find him. Until I found myself at the back of the marquee building, where the waiters and caterers gathered around the food for the guests.

“Sister, can I help you?” An older waiter asked me, looking at me up and down, “Do you work for Eden’s Catering too?”

“No, I—” Then I came to my senses. I looked at him with wide eyes. “Actually, I forgot my uniform at home, but madam said I should still join you people for work today.”

He looked at me strangely for a moment before nodding his head, “There is one extra shirt at the back of our van. Hurry and get to work.”

That was how I found myself waitressing because of man. After I changed into the blue Eden’s Catering polo shirt, I quickly followed some of the other waiters into the hall through the backdoor with a tray of food.

As I stepped towards the first table, the DJ blasted out Shallipopi’s Laho, almost bursting my ears through the speakers as the guests all rose to their feet, cheering the newest couple dancing in.

I stood at the back, stretching my neck to see the bride and groom through the small crowd around them.

And like a long paralyzing nightmare, I saw Adam, my Adam, dancing in with a white suit, his hands clutched around a petite caramel-skinned girl in a white wedding dress.

Time seemed to slow as I watched him dance and sing the song at the top of his lungs,

“Minister of enjoyment. Intercontinental, monumental, ah! We go live forever (Ever, ever)!”

And ever and ever and ever.

The echoing in my mind stopped when the waiter next to me screamed at me for dropping the tray on the ground, the guests around looking at me crazy as I stood frozen, staring at Adam with teary eyes.

All my love.

All my money.

Millions of naira. Borrowed and worked hard for.

All my sweat, tears and buckets of blood.

Was to sponsor another woman’s wedding.

No wonder Adam warned me never to post the ring or our pictures on the internet.

I was a fool.

He deceived me.

Adam worked hard in scheming me just to marry the love of his life—one I never knew existed till today. He played me for a fool. Pressed all the buttons of the stupidity left in me, making sure I never had any sense left because of the love I had for him.

But one thing was for sure.

My mumu button had an expiry date. And that expiry date was his real wedding day.

But when something was expired, there was only one inevitable outcome.

I grabbed the nearest wine bottle and broke it against the wall, turning to face Adam with the sharp remains in my hand.

Danger.