MY SAPIOSEXUAL LECTURER (Part 1)

At this point, you may be wondering how a stern woman like this would do the unimaginable act. You may also be wondering how I was able to get trapped under Dr Anita’s palm in just a week. Here was the reality; it wasn’t a week. It was few hours. In fact, few minutes.

It happened at the night of the Fresher’s Welcome Party on a Sunday. Two days after she failed me for my classwork.

One thing about the unimaginable act, you can never forget the day, the time and the location of the event. They will forever be etched in your memory.

I was alone at the party. I still didn’t have any friends. And no one else noticed this but her.

“You must be lonely.” Was the first thing I heard from her that night when she magically appeared behind me.

I turned around to see her standing close to me with a drink in her hand. From the way she was a bit unstable, I could tell she was quite tipsy. But I played along.

“No, I am Isah.” I joked around which caused her to chuckle. This time, the cute chuckle.

“And I am Dr Anita.” She joked back. “So, what is a fine boy like you doing all alone at a party?”

There goes every predator’s favourite line at a party.

I chuckled, “I wonder myself, ma.”

She smirked, “You haven’t seen your speculation?”

“Speculation?”

“Your speck. Your type. You’re a handsome boy, you know. You should consider getting a girlfriend here on campus.”

I gave her a small smile at her joke and just said, “Nobody has called me handsome before, ma.”

“Take it from me.” She winked.

Okay, now that was unusual.

“I read your classwork.” She quickly changed the topic while taking another sip of her alcohol, “It was brilliant.”

“Ah, you did? Thank you, ma.”

“Here is my favourite part, ‘This song is an offense to men of impotence’.” She laughed as she quoted a sentence from my classwork.

I just smiled and stared at her. For some reason, it felt good to see this side of Dr Anita. The side outside school work.

Her laughter died down and she sighed before staring at me. I was a bit uncomfortable because this whole moment was just awkward because I was seeing a completely different Dr Anita.

Soon, she began apologizing for being strict to me the other day and blamed it on menopause. But I said,

“No no, it’s fine, ma. I’m not angry at all.”

Actually, I was contemplating on how to burn down your office.

She smiled for a second before placing her hands on her head in pain, “Oh. My head is turning me with this loud music. Do you mind if we could go somewhere more quiet?”

This was the part I should have said “no”. But I feared for tipsy Dr Anita’s safety, so I agreed.

We entered her Toyota Sienna XLE car and she drove out of the school campus. That was the very moment I wish I could undo.

I remembered almost everything vividly. From the moment she drove and parked at an underdeveloped bushy area, to the moment she offered me a “coconut juice” in her car, in which I later found out was palm wine mixed with vodka.

I remembered how we talked and talked for hours about anything and everything, from politics to power to feminism in Nigeria to parenthood to studying abroad. I remember how I kept drinking the palm wine even though I was losing control of my sanity. For a moment, I forgot that it was a haram to drink. Or did I?

Nothing seemed to matter because all I needed that night was company, and Dr Anita was very good at that. Having back-to-back intellectual conversations with her made me feel seen and not alone in my thoughts.

I remembered that Dr Anita drank only half a cup despite she was the one who offered me to drink a whole bottle of palm wine. I remembered how dizzy I felt that I ended up vomiting on the passenger seat of the car.

And here was the crazy part. I barely remembered anything that happened after I vomited.

All I remember were flashes of different moments that I had no connection as to how we got there. I barely remembered Dr Anita even kissing me. I barely remembered her removing my trousers and boxers. What I remember was that I was lying down flat at the backseat of her Toyota Sienna car. I remembered when she took off her top and trouser to reveal her white lace bra and nothing under but 5 multi-coloured waist beads around her waist.

I remembered how my manhood became erect without my permission. I remembered how she came on top of me and began going up and down, riding my manhood with her… womanhood.

She came so strong on me like a gorilla having sex with a zebra. For a moment, I thought her car would fall and break. I wish it did.

I did not remember every bit of the sex. But the part I did remember was when she was riding on me so fast while Coming by Naira Marley was playing over the car speakers. As the chorus repeated itself, she moved faster and faster and kept screaming that the “streams of river” was about to flow.

I did not understand what she meant by “streams of river” until she stopped moving and liquid began dripping from her womanhood down to my manhood and anus. That was the river she talked about.

I remembered how she breathed heavily and rolled her eyes back like she was possessed. It scared the living night out of me.

The last thing I remembered was when she rested her entire heavy body on top of mine and continued breathing heavily in my ear. At that point, I couldn’t feel myself anymore. I felt so disconnected with my body.

Then she said something strange.

“You see,” She chuckled into my ear, “if Mohammed doesn’t go to the river, the river would come to Mohammed.”

And with that, I blacked out.

****

Early the next morning, at about 6 am or so, I woke up with aches all over my body and a really bad hangover. I looked around my surroundings to see I was in the middle of a bush. The exact spot Dr Anita took me to. I did not see Dr Anita nor her car. It was just me and the empty cold bushes.

I gathered up the strength to trek from the abandoned area to the university campus. It was the longest thirty minutes walk of my life. I was numb all through the walk and couldn’t process anything at that moment.

By the time I arrived campus, students and lecturers were already on their way to lectures. Despite nobody was paying attention to me, I felt like I was being watched. I felt like somebody was ready to pounce on me and I shuddered anytime somebody came close to me. It wasn’t intentional.

When I finally got to my hostel room, I saw Nnamdi approaching me swiftly as he asked, “Mallam, how far? Where you dey go last night?”

The moment he touched my shoulders, I pushed him away and screamed for him to “Leave me alone!”

Nnamdi and Emmanuel looked at me strangely, trying to understand when I became so aggressive. Even I didn’t understand why I just did that.

I rushed to get my towel and slammed the toilet door behind me, causing a loud bang. I rested behind the door and breathed heavily. Suddenly, my heavy breathing gave me flashes of Dr Anita’s heavy breathing on top of me in the car.

I tried to shrug off the thought and force my way into the shower. As the water poured all over me, my mind kept replaying everything that I could remember about last night. Dr Anita’s white bra. Her rolled eyes. Her orgasm on my skin. My erect manhood.

I kept pushing these thoughts off my mind but they kept coming back to me. I wanted to scream so bad but I didn’t want my roommates to hear me. I wanted to fight so bad. I wanted to punch something, anything. But all I could do in that moment was break down and cry. I cried until there was no tears left in me.

I began to question why I was crying like a girl. I’m a man. I need to man up. What happened last night is nothing to cry about. I slept with Dr Anita and so what? It was my first time, so what? At least, I would stop being made fun of for being a virgin.

I had to get myself together and stop acting like a baby whose sweet was stolen from him. This is not you, Isah. All you did was have a wild night, so why are you causing a fuss?

I didn’t know how long I was in the shower, but it felt like a long time.

After I had calmed down and made sure my puffy eyes had reduced, I stepped out of the toilet to meet Emmanuel standing in front of the door.

“She did something to you, didn’t she?” Emmanuel asked me furiously.

I looked around to see who he was talking to because this was the very first time my second roommate was ever talking to me.

“Who?” I asked, even though I knew what he was talking about.

“Dr Anita. I saw you following her last night.”

Kill me now.

Despite I was shocked at his statement, I didn’t want to show it. Heck, I didn’t want anybody to find out about last night.

And so, I hissed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, oga.”

I tried to walk away but he blocked me.

“The sooner you accept it, the faster you can move on.”

I hate this guy.

I sneered at him, “What do you know about it.”

“She assaulted me too. On the very same day two years ago.” He confessed which caused me to look at him in surprise. Was he saying Dr Anita was that same woman that raped him two years ago?

“You’re not the first person she is doing this to. Neither are you the second. Same thing happened to another boy last year but he killed himself.” He added.

Everything he said was beginning to make my blood turn cold. I wanted to digest his words but then, my ego did not let me.

“She didn’t rape me.” The words flew out of my mouth despite my heart knew otherwise, “We just had sex that we both had no control over.”

Now I regret letting that last part slip out of my mouth.

“Keep telling yourself that.” Emmanuel wasn’t buying it. He looked more annoyed for me than I was.

With that, he brushed pass my shoulders and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

What was up with this guy?

I turned around to go to my wardrobe when I saw Nnamdi on his bed, staring at me with a shocked expression plastered on his face. Of course, he heard everything.

“Mallam, we need to talk.”

****

I didn’t know what kind of weed Nnamdi put in the atmosphere that made me open up to him about last night. He was the kind of guy that was easy to talk to and it didn’t take long for him to convince me to share the details about last night.

I narrated the story like it was some random casual hook up from a wild night. I was bottling up everything I felt inside; shame, disgust and self-blame. If I hadn’t drank so much palm wine mixed with vodka, none of these would have happened. I would have had the strength to push Dr Anita away and protect myself. I would have never felt so emasculated.

“‘If Mohammed doesn’t go to the river, the river would come to Mohammed.’ That was the last thing she said before everything went pitch black.” I said lastly to Nnamdi.

He rose his eyebrows, “What does the river mean?”

It didn’t take up to 10 seconds for Nnamdi to realize what it meant. He slowly covered his mouth in shock and said, “You don’t mean it?”

He started jumping around the room in excitement, causing me to be even more agitated. But I hid it and pretended to laugh about it.

“Bros, do you know how hard, in fact impossible, it is to make a woman release?” He said while punching my shoulders and teased me, “O-Lord, come and teach me your ways.”

Orgasm-Lord. I had already gotten a nickname for something I had no control over. If this was the reaction I was getting for a so-called “casual hook up”, how much more horrifying would it be if I told people I was a victim. I would go from O-Lord to G-Lord, Gigolo-Lord.

“What fascinates me is that she approached you after she finished reading your classwork, which she changed it to a really high score. Then before you had sex, you guys started doing debates about politics and all these boring topics. And you didn’t even talk about anything sexual at all?”

I nodded.

“Do you know what I’m thinking?” He smirked.

“What?”

“She is sapiosexual.”

“Sapiosexual?”

“Someone who is turned on by intelligence.”

I scoffed. That kind of thing does not exist. But again, that was the only logical thing about last night. Because what kind of woman would want to have sex with an ugly guy like me? And a whole Dr Anita at that.

“Uhm, Nnamdi.” I called out to him, “Can you not tell anybody about this?”

“Mallam, haba you’re my guy. What stays in this room, stays in this room.”

I gave him a small smile, and I knew that from that moment on, I would never ever tell anybody about what happened between me and Dr Anita.