PRETTY PRIVILEGE

After Bassey rejected Angel- not me, thankfully, I left the class without saying anything else to him. I wonder if Angel knew that she was going to get rejected and that was why she used me to switch bodies. But again, I wondered if she wanted me to push him harder by trying to impress him with my smarty pants and Shakespeare knowledge.

But I didn’t want to push him harder. It was not my place, neither was it Angel’s.

“Angel.” I heard her name.

I continued walking until I heard, “Angel.” again, then I remembered I was still inside Angel’s body.

I turned around to see Solo Solo waving and standing by the balcony of our SS1 block. My heart began to pound like yam again.

“Come here.” He gestured for me to join him in one of the SS1 classrooms, and I did.

We were alone in the class, and we didn’t really say much to each other, until I asked him a question that has been pondering on my mind.

“What would you do if a fine girl says she likes you?”

He shrugged, “I will knack her then serve her breakfast.”

I frowned, because I knew he was not talking about food.

He chuckled and elbowed me, “I’m just joking.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Why are you asking anyway?” He gave a teasing smile, “Are you trying to tell me you like me again?”

“No-” I stopped myself, because he wasn’t wrong, “And what if I did?”

He bit his bottom lips and placed his hand on the back of my neck, rubbing it slightly with his thumb.

“Then you won’t have to worry anymore.”

He leaned in and kissed me before I had the chance to respond. His lips slammed so hard on my mouth that it almost crushed my teeth. I was about to push him away but it dawned on me that I would never get this opportunity again. Not even in my wildest dreams.

I tried to kiss him back but it was like his whole mouth had already overtaken mine, not giving me room to breathe. Damn, he tasted like the egusi soup we had for lunch. He slid his tongue into my mouth, the palm oil giving it a weird taste.

He was rough. He was hungry. For Angel’s lips. He kissed me like he was eating agbalumo. Within a split second, his hands grabbed my breasts and squeezed them like one agege bread.

God, this was not how I imagined my first kiss. Could he at least take it easy for Angel’s sake?

Suddenly, he grabbed my hand and rubbed it on top of his zipper, almost causing me to shriek as I felt his hard rock under his trouser

He was moaning like one tired goat as he continued rubbing my hand around his zipper while kissing me profusely.

He finally removed his lips from mine and began unzipping his trousers hurriedly like someone that was about to piss on himself.

I sat there, frozen to move as he pulled out his rock-- live and fresh. And very very huge.

“Remember what you promised to do with those lips.” He smirked, holding his dick in his hand.

***

The next day, Angel Jemide became the highlight of our school’s top gossips.

Everyone was talking about Angel, aka me.

Because it turns out that “dick lips” wasn’t so dick lips after all. And Solo Solo had told half of the boys in the senior hostel that Angel’s head game was wack and that she had big lips for nothing.

Angel’s head game wasn’t wack. Slamming his giant dick into my mouth was like forcing an entire aeroplane down my throat. I was bound to choke to death.

The gist spread fast and now, I, we, Angel and I, are doomed. Forever.

Angel, in my own body, stormed into my class when she heard about the news of my terrible blow job skills on Solo Solo. Her eyes were red, filled with tears that were tired of falling. Her nose was running, and her breathing was so heavy that she could explode any minute from now. And in that moment, I knew I messed up big time.

She came dashing at me and rose her hand in the air before her hand landed across my cheeks, making my world spin into oblivion. That was the 360 degrees slap.

After the slap came punches that only Jesus himself could come down to save me from. Angel was quite violent and did not give me a second to explain. Until her two best friends pulled her away and began hitting her back.

It was then she realized that she wasn’t Angel, she was me- Ose. And she had no choice but to watch her two friends beat the hell out of her without them realizing that the girl inside that body was the friend they were defending.

Despite Angel was the one getting beat up, I was the one panicking. I felt the pain of their actions, but worse, their words.

“Who the hell do you think you are?! Ugly lepa!”

“Chameleon’s wife.”

“Frog face.”

“Anorexic bitch.”

They all came after my looks because there was nothing else to attack. It hurt, it really really hurt.

I tried to stop them, but they pushed me away.

Until I screamed. They all stopped immediately and looked at me in surprise.

I didn’t know whether to confess that Angel’s body was mine, or to tell them that I was responsible for Angel’s slap.

Instead, I stood up and grabbed Angel out of the class and went straight to lock both of us inside the girl’s toilet. Angel tried to slap me again, but I was quick to grab her wrist.

“Angel, I’m sorry!” I apologized.

“Shut up! Shut up, Ose!” She fell to the floor and cried. “It’s been only three days! Three days since we switched bodies and you’ve ruined everything!”

“I will try to fix it.”

“Don’t do anything! You’ve already done enough damage.” She stood up and pushed me away from the door, “We’re switching bodies this night. I’m done living inside this your miserable body!”

She tried to leave the toilet, but I held her back.

“Angel?”

“What?!”

“Bassey doesn’t like you.”

If looks could kill, Angel’s glare could have stabbed me a hundred times and burnt my body in a bush. She slammed the door, not bothering to comment about my last statement.

I knew she warned me not to do anything. I knew this was going to be my last day living as Angel. But there was one last thing I needed to do before I return to my original body.

“Solomon!” I stormed to his class as he sat at the back with a group of boys around him.

“Here comes expired dick lips” I heard him mumble, causing the other boys to snicker.

I stood in front of him. He looked at me with that ugly teasing smile of his, “Has your sexy lips come to have another taste?”

“No, but my leg did.”

I rose my leg and slammed it on top of his dick, causing him to yell and fall back from his chair.

All the other boys scrambled away in shock and looked at me, wondering what in the life-damaging world have I done.

“If anybody calls me ‘dick lips’ again, you go collect!” I threatened with my leg, causing the other boys to move back.

With that, I left the class to do what I did best- cry.

I felt so much shame and guilt for what I did yesterday. I thought it would make Solo Solo like me more. But it backfired in a way that I never could imagine. Screw boys.

I hid in the clinic for the rest of the day until night fell.

After lights out, Angel and I ate another Medicine of Souls and we had to sleep next to each other, holding hands. It was the most uncomfortable and longest night I had ever had because Angel and I didn’t see eye to eye anymore.

Angel didn’t get into trouble for stepping on Solo Solo’s dick. In fact, she got praised for it because many believed he deserved it for opening his dirty mouth in the first place.

Angel and I kept our distance after we got back to our original bodies. We were both still bruised up from the punches we received, but that was the price we paid for using forbidden sorcery.

I am back to being the irrelevant and invisible Ose. But for some strange reasons, I am now content with it. I love being outside all the drama that comes with being little miss perfect and popular. If peace of mind is what I will get for being conventionally unattractive, then I will choose peace of mind any day.

After all, the insults may come still come. But as my mother will say, “No one can insult you, you can only let yourself be insulted.”

And it is only up to me to decide that.